Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Viagra has the power to overcome erectile dysfunction

Once upon a time, there was a wife preparing to go on holiday, but she feared for her husband's fidelity when left with the temptation of their Swedish au pair, so she left an apple on the au pair's bed. Her husband was, after all, a doctor. Ever since apples were given a bad rep in the Garden of Eden, marketing gurus have been trying to recover the brand image and sell the fruit. The Beatles probably did more than anyone to put things back on the straight and narrow. For an all-too-brief moment, the record label was the fountainhead of some great music. Then it lived on in mothballs as the Fab Four fought over ownership of their back catalog.


After a few years, by some unknown means, the mantle of greatness was passed to Steve Jobs who, if you believe his fans' blogs, walks on water every Tuesday just because he can. This candle of leadership has flickered in the wind, but Apple has now decided to confirm its status as a shaper of culture. Gone are the days when it just focused on the hardware. Now it's all about the content. The numbers never lie. There have been more than 2 billions apps downloaded for the iPhone and iPod in the last eighteen months. That's 6.3 million downloads a day. One of the more exciting is "Fire Up Your Sex Drive". The developer is nothing if not inventive. He claims the app generates some powerful alpha waves. Exposing male users will enhance their sexual performance by up to 85% in less than two weeks. Presumably, the app broadcasts alpha male waves. What's interesting is Apple's willingness to allow its distribution. It used to have a reputation of being a little prudish. It seems some of the faux puritanism is rubbing off.


Fans also liked to think of their sport as being pure. This was athleticism elevated to art, and performance was endlessly analyzed to prove who were the best. In MLB, for example, people used to think Roger Clemens was just pleased to see his female fans. Now it turns out he was stuffing little blue pills into his locker. Indeed, the combination of steroids and Viagra seems to have been not uncommon among sportsmen. The theory is that, with the blood vessels dilated, the steroids reach the muscles faster and are taken up more efficiently. Whether you want to develop the top-heavy look favored by some football and baseball players, there's no doubt of Viagra's real power to dilate arteries to good effect. Almost all men not suffering from physical incapacity or serious depression find Viagra works the first time they take it and produces consistently hard erections on all subsequent occasions. It's a shame the manufacturers came along just a little too late to take over the "apple" brand. That image of a bite taken out of a green apple could have been the image to really launch the brand. As it is, customers have had to struggle with a foreign-sounding name. Fortunately, men have proved fast learners when it comes to passing on word of this drug's power. It could probably have been called Xlzwp (Eden in the Serbo-Croatian language) and still have become the world's most popular drug.

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